Unrequited Love

DEAR SAMANTHA:

“I’ve dated this lady for 2 ½ years and have loved her for a long time. I believe she is to be my future mate, but she doesn’t seem so sure. How long do I wait before moving on? I’m not getting any younger you know!”

—WAITING WILLIAM

DEAR William:

Sometimes I think it was simpler the way it was done in the Bible . . . the parents chose the mate for their children! Remember even Abraham asked his servant to go back to his homeland and choose a wife for his son Isaac. He was afraid Isaac would choose one of the local heathen girls who wouldn’t be good for him.

You don’t say, in your question, if the lady you love is a Christian or not. That should be a huge factor in your decision. Do you go to the same church? Do you pray together? Can you discuss spiritual concepts with her? All important things that should be part of your relationship, besides the fact you love her.

Another thing I wonder about is whether she a loving, giving person? Think back about the time you spend with her. Are you the one who is always expressing your love, your care, your concern for her well-being? Does she give to you emotionally? Remember there are people in this world who are givers, and you seem to be one of those. But there are also people who are narcissistic and are takers. Is she that kind of person: A taker? If so, stop waiting and run for your life!

With all of that in mind, it still gets down to what she thinks, doesn’t it. Two and a half years is a long time to invest in a relationship and she still doesn’t seem sure if you two should get married. Frankly, if I were you, I’d move on and find someone who appreciates me and who thinks I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to them! What joy that would bring into your life if you had that kind of relationship instead of trying to convince someone to marry you.